Question by Atheist Nun aka GenaneF: How do I ensure that I treat both my kids equally so they both feel loved and special and cherished growing up?
My birth mother favored my younger sister over me. I was kicked out at 17 as we never got along because she was jealous that my grandma (her mother) legally adopted and raised me from 3 months to 11 years and my bond was stronger with her, naturally. She had me at 16, so I was her “mistake” baby, and she had my sister 10 years later when she married another man. My step dad was better to me than my own birth mother. Living with her for the 6.5 years I had to stay with her was hell on me. She is a borderline personality/narcissistic individual. I was the scapegoat for everything, my little sister could do no wrong. I was a star athlete, ran varsity track, was always on the honor roll, in all honors classes, never was into drugs or boys or trouble, but she always found something to yell and nit pick with me over.

I am nearly 30, and married and I am still working on my self-esteem. I see what she did to me, and I would rather shoot myself dead right now point blank than to put my son and my daughter through that. I find myself always making sure almost in a OCD way that if I tell my baby girl she did good on her finger painting, I go tell my son a compliment based on his skills, even if it is random…like “Hey man, I saw you out there shooting hoops in the driveway. You’re looking good. You should think about signing up for basketball at the youth center.”

It’s so OCD, to the point even if one of my kids doesn’t need anything from the store, and the other does, I will buy something for the other one anyway one size up and just put it away for later, because I don’t want to treat them different. I feel I go into anxiety and OCD trying to be fair so I am nothing like my mother. I scold them equally too. If one gets a game taken away, so does the other. I don’t play tattle tale blame games/scapegoating so I do group punishment unless I know one is solely responsible. I want to uplift them in healthy ways, not anxiety and OCD driven ways stemming from my own pain.

My mother never helped me go to college even though I was a great student and had many scholarships (never enough for a full ride though), but she helped my special ed sister go to community college. Thanks to the Army I did attend college and found my way in life all by my own wits and grit, but I make it a mission to strive to help my kids any way I can EQUALLY when they are ready to cross that bridge. I also never got to have a boyfriend, or even a teen social life. I was too busy babysitting my younger sister while my mom stayed out getting wasted or working. Then, she would yell at me if a boy ever called and tell me I am not seeing any boy. But my sister has been screwing some dude since middle school and they’re engaged now, she’s 19 and he’s about 23. So I want my kids to have normal kid social lives, and have boyfriend/girlfriends and feel that they can come to me about anything. I want them to know I am here for them, and I support and love them no matter what in life. How can I do this in a healthy way? I don’t want my kids to ever feel the way I did growing up.

Best answer:

Answer by Bridget S
You treat them as equally as you can. But they have different needs. So you give them as much love and attention as they’ll let you, and tailor it too them. Your daughter will likely be more inclined to bond by talking to you, but your son will want more time spent doing something active without much talking. Different people just need different things. Parenting classes, and parent groups may help put things into perspective for you.

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Question by trish m: “Recovery” Just looking for others opinions on “drug addiction”?
how many of you believe that 12 step programs work? and how many of you know someone who has given up everything that matters for their drug of choice? Just sincere answers please…
You have pointed out one of the main things that needs to be there “willingness” good job!
I’m an addict in recovery (5yrs) and I know each person is different. some just quit,others use AA/NA, and then some need a combo of the AA and therapy… One thing that all addicts lack is the ability to cope with life on life’s terms. If an addict doesn’t learn to cope then they tend to just switch addictions… from drugs to others i.e. eating, gambleing, workaholic, thank you guys for your answers and I’ll give this question till the end of the day..

Best answer:

Answer by debb_michele
I had gotten into drugs and alcohol for a while, and I’m only 15. The fact is I didn’t want to stop, no matter who said what I just didn’t. So I found out the hard way, that you cannot quite unless you really [[100%]] want to. It took someone special leaving me for me to quite. But I have alot of friends into drugs and they give up alot for drugs… I haven’t seen any of the therapy things working for them, because they didn’t want to quit. Hope that answers your question, just my opinion.

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Vt. gov. to substance abuse treatment program
Peter Shumlin will be holding a press conference in Burlington on the expansion of an early intervention and treatment program for young adults at risk of alcohol and drug abuse. The event will be held at 11:15 Friday at the Community Health Center.
Read more on Tbo.com

Alcohol & Drug Rehab Kenosha Launches Center to Battle Substance Abuse …
Eugene, OR (PRWEB) February 06, 2014. A Kenosha alcohol and drug rehab center is announcing that it is opening its doors to help adults and adolescents fight back against their alcohol and drug addiction through Drug Addiction Treatment Centers.
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Question by : What do you think of Eminem “Relapse” album?
I’ve always been a fan of his, but I gonna say this isn’t his best work. What do you think of his new album “relapse”?

Best answer:

Answer by Nigga P
What do you think of child molesters?

What do you think? Answer below!

The Florida House Detox Alumni Continue Giving Back With Helping The Fruitful …
From Percocet, Vicodin, Oxycontin and Roxicodone to prescription Xanax, Valium and Klonopin, the Florida House Detox Center aims to free each of its patients from the physical agony of substance abuse withdrawal. The Florida House Detox Center is …
Read more on PR Web (press release)

Florida man shot dead after attack on teen's face
Deputies in Florida shot dead a naked psycho high on drugs after he bit a teen's face off in a random street attack. Anesson Joseph … Injured, he was taken to Delray Medical Center where he later died. … Kozlik and Grein were both taken to hospital …
Read more on New York Daily News

Question by Nat: Do you think that “sex addiction” is an actual condition?
or do you think it’s just an excuse that habitual cheaters use to avoid blame ? (for example- Tiger Woods)

Best answer:

Answer by Awake Sage & Author Omid Mankoo
“habitual cheaters” is the term you used. habitual is very much related to addiction. the reverse of habitual is conscious and aware. Sex addiction is a problem. seldom do you find a person who is in control of their body and in control of their own mind and still continuously cheats.

There is a tremendous amount of hidden mind manipulation within many sexual presentations disguised as regular sexual attraction. the viewer is being mentally stimulated, all the while mistakenly thinking it is simply sexual attraction and only physical. Becoming familiar with the manipulations and the methods to free oneself from these unwanted intrusive elements are written in a recent book which I mention in the “Sources” section at the end of this answer

in addition I have a yahoo group on sexual addiction at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sagessolution

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